30 Dates In 30 Days: Part III
[Reading time 3 minutes]
(*depending on how often you read I guess)
Meet the candidates…
You don’t go on 30 dates on a whim. Well, it kinda started that way, but I severely underestimated the intensity, it’s hard work. Doing this made me realise I am more of an introvert than I thought and that there is such a thing as stupid questions. The boys deserve some privacy, so nicknames only. But, if you feel like you’re being called out, well, no hard feelings on my end.
Date 1: Roffaboy. Oh my, bodily fluids are being exchanged at the red light district.
Okay that was a little clickbaity but you didn’t really expect me to go full hoe-mode on date nr.1 right? So, Roffaboy, on paper a perfect match, in real life a really fun date. I did get influenced though, more specifically under the influence. Date nr.1 took place on the first day the terraces reopened post-covid. This made me slightly biased, as I was really excited to go out again and clock some social time. The conversation was good, so was the company, otherwise I wouldn’t have stayed as long as I did.
Looking back on past decisions, or lack there off, I believe that instinctually you will know straight away, yes or no. While I wasn’t ‘searching for love’ I could do with some chemistry, but my judgement was slightly clouded by alcohol.
Was I excited? Was I feeling something? Or did I just really wanted something to be there? Maybe I was a little whiskey drunk… Probably all of the above.
As the date was coming to an end, we set off on a romantic stroll through the red light district. When we got to my bike the boy probably felt the date had reached its ending and he went for it. Before I realised what was happening I was making out with this tall competent man in the middle of the red light district. Oh Boy…
Not bad for a first date, but definitely too intense to repeat another 29 times. So here came the rules, as did my first second date. Turns out, my tolerance and mental health don’t bode well by alcohol, so these days I rarely drink, especially not on dates.
Date 4: Lawyerboy. Already falling for a boy?!
What started as a pretty vanilla date quickly got some spice. I got to Coffee & Coconuts, slightly hot and bothered, wearing my nice-and-cool-casual-girl date outfit: Jeans, a strappy top, black boots and a Burberry trench coat. Slightly too late and slightly too sweaty I sat down and got my coffee order in. I decided to take off my coat while seated. Note to self: don’t.
I felt so smooth as I casually kept the conversation going while I was struggling to get out of my sleeves. I slid off the shoulders, almost freed one arm and as I made one final nudge I felt my chair moving in slow motion. Before I knew it, I was losing gravity and took the whole chair with me: MAYDAY MAYDAY. I went down in the middle of a busy Sunday brunch in Amsterdam. The terrace was small, and so were the tables and chairs, so I literally fell into the neighbours table, cheers guys. Somehow I really did not see that coming…
I figured I could just keep the conversation going, casually picking myself up and actually getting out of my coat. I don’t embarrass easily but this felt really dumb and yes, everyone was looking. Slowly gathering myself and making up for my grace with good questions, lunch turned out alright. As I had already embarrassed myself I figured I’d pull a homerun and finish with my 'hey let’s go, how would you rate this date’. He said he would get back to me. Turns out he actually had a good time, maybe a little at my expense. I shall always cherish the Yelp review he wrote me. 4.5 out of 5 stars, not bad. Well played Lawyerboy.
Day 16: Date 16, 17 & 18. Breathingboy, Tattooboy & Danishboy.
It being summer, I also wanted a couple days off. So, I figured I needed to get creative with my time management. On day 16 I started with a coffee-picnic date with Breathingboy: a breath coach living a holistic and vegan life. Very wholesome. These zen-vibes evaporated as soon as I entered the taqueria where Tattooboy was waiting for me. It went from wholesome and safe to exciting and slightly drunk pretty quickly. One tequila in, it turned out Tattooboy had an even more chaotic time management than I did. Before I knew it a friend from Denmark had joined us for part 3: roaming the jordaan with Danishboy. I figured I’d go with it as I wasn't expecting much more to come out of the second date anyway. Also, this would count as the day’s 3rd date, as Tattooboy took off and I ended up showing Danishboy around while slightly stoned, ending the day with some decent conversations and very welcome burgers.. Not a bad score. Time for a much needed rest day.
Date 21: Furniture boy.
What started as a quota coffee date, kind of took me by surprise. I was reaching the end of the 30 dates and with it my will to go out in public and speak to strange dudes.. Slightly tired of asking questions, my attention span was starting to dissolve and my interest was vastly fainting.
At this point in the experiment I had started strategically planning my dates: to and from work. All I needed was a coffee cart or coffee shop on route. So, after teaching I biked home through Rembrandtpark for a walk-and-talk with Furnitureboy. I was pleasantly surprised and coffee turned into lunch. This gave me a slither of hope: could this be something?! But I pulled it together and caught myself from falling back into potential tunnel vision mode. With a few more dates lined up I defaulted into my dude-dating settings: just see what happens. A second date did happen but it kinda fizzled out after that, as dating sometimes tends to do.
Date 23: Fletcher Reede: 3 inch shorter and no sense of personal space.
Due to slowly evaporating structure in my time management, my bar was starting to lower a little. But, I had to finish what I started, so life-lemon-lemonade. There was hardly any banter and the chat was anything but smooth. Two failed attempts at a joke and a few neverminds later, I decided to just go for it. I’d put my lack of excitement down to it being the end of the road. Looking back on it, I could have seen the orange flags waving my way.
We met up at Sarphati park for a walk & talk. With a coffee to go from the ‘Scandinavian Embassy’ we took off. In an attempt to get to know him a little, I started firing off questions at ‘something with music and his own business’. None of it was landing and he slowly started to walk about a metre behind me. Slowing down helped every now and then but I realised it was going to be a long one hour date. Running out of questions and with plenty of unbearable moments of quiet, we went for coffee nr 2. Now 45 minutes in, I felt the end was in sight. We finished with a stroll on the Albert Cuyp market. Apparently he knew all the vendors and felt it necessary to strike up a conversation with most of them, so there went my one hour plan. With my bike finally getting back in sight, he probably felt my pace picking up. All of a sudden he started stroking my hair from behind and complimenting me on its softness. My heart skipped a beat, not the good kind. Caught a little off-guard, I felt both panic and irritation arising. I had never been so excited to see my bike. To give him credit, he did shoot his shot and suggested we'd do this again sometime. Although I felt like screaming ‘maybe if you hadn’t lied about being 10 cm taller than you actually are’ but merely replied with a ‘No thank you’.
