Welcome to the Dating w Marije Show ✨

The 30 Dates in 30 Days article probably got you here, which hopefully entertained you for a couple of pages. If not, it might provide you with some context as to why I am babbling on about my ‘dating-life’. Too hard to tame and entertain, or just too busy working on myself… Whichever it is, I have not met anyone whom I would like to do life full-time with.

So, dating has been an unexpected tool, kind of overstaying its welcome, but with a lot of benefits (just not thoese ;))
As a writer who loves experiments I figured I’d give this blog/column format a go, as I’m not yet ready to bend the knee and fully give into video content. My aim is to entertain you with my words, hopefully exciting you about the dying medium of written text. I will try to keep it short and sweet, so as to not burden your attention span too much.  
On Instagram I’ll dabble in some vlogging and video content to also have some instant gratification on the menu.

Now, back to dating. After many years of error and some trials and making it through quite some excruciating dates, I can only consider myself an expert. I have managed to give some relationships a go, but being single again has put my status back to open for business. Relationships are a whole different game, where I doubt anyone, except maybe for some therapists or researchers, becomes a true expert, but I’lll leave that as is. 

I started dating to find love like a hopeful romantic 💕. I picked up dating again, probably to fill some sort of void in a post-relationship love life. I continued to date most likely for the validation it was giving me, “see, still got it…”
As you may have read, for a while I dated for the greater good, which ultimately took place through a real life experiment. These days it’s somewhere in between ‘looking for a life partner’ and ‘finding someone to go to the movies with’, time will tell. Or check in weekly, as the dating clock keeps ticking.. Wait, are those my ovaries?

Anyhow, yes, age is just a nr. When it comes to dating though, it turns out to be quite an essential one:
Are you in your teens? Why are you here..
Are you in you early twenties? Whoohoo Let’s go for some drinks.
Are you of bearing age? Tick tock, welcome to the slippery slope!
Are you in your forties? Ouch it’s about to get complex… I mean, is it your second round at the buffet, or “is there a reason you’re still single”?!

Good lighting is key to any dating profile, i.e. it makes me seem totally chill.

Okay, that’s harsh, but I’m not the first one thinking it. When it really comes down to it, age shouldn’t matter too much, because if you’re dating in the right pool, your intentions and hopefully your filters will put you on the right track. Regardless the age, it get’s easier when you can clarify why you are actually dating in the first place.

By not lying to yourself, you make life easier, while eventually finding your target audience, even if it looks slightly different than you had imagined. When you then start asking for what you want, you might actually be able to fulfil your needs.

Don’t completely know what you want? Also fine, just be honest, and maybe putting some thoughts to paper will clarify. My main dating motivator? Meet new people and experience new things, even if it’s just because I don’t want to try to play air hockey by myself. As soon as you start to embrace dating for what it can be, a very effective tool, it might actually be really fun. 

Now before you get your hopes up: yes, it will still be hard work, and you’ll probably go on a lot of meh and some shitty dates as well. Now first dates are a bit tricky, because you don’t want to waste a lot of time on a potential catfish. If you are dating local, opt for a coffee walk & talk, where maybe your local barista can already offer you some moral support… If you feel lucky, roll the dice and go for it; create and work your way through an activity list that brings you joy.
When you are shifting your energy towards something you actually enjoy doing and put slightly less effort into what you have to wear, or what they are wearing, you might just have a great time, romance or not. Okay, almost done for today, But I’ll leave you with this: What has been stopping you from dating? (it can’t be I’m too busy, because we all are, within that concept of 24/7) And, are these reasons honestly stopping you from going out and having a good time, or does it feel a little like procrastination station? 

Allthough you’re now thrilled to start dating again, I have taken off my rose coloured glasses, in order to share some anecdotes: “Character building: dating edition”. A weekly update including my low-low’s from within the real life dating scene, anonymity probably guaranteed. I might wander off onto some other topics in which I no doubt can also manage to flaunt or fail.

Up Next: ‘Why should be dating, even if you don't feel like it’, ‘How to start the conversation, make the first move’ and  ‘How to do a soft (or hard) landing in person’ . Stay tuned 👀.